Discovery Of A New and Unique Element

Introduction:

In very recent days a new Socio-chemical Element has been detected. The term coined for this is Educated Unemployed by the Social Scientist and its symbol is 'Eu'. It has been placed in Periodic Table as under the Period Vagabond (Beng - Faltu) and in the Series Permanent Non-Paid Guest. Valency of the element may be any number between zero and infinity.

Availability:
The element is widely found in any society of any country but available abundantly in India.

Preparation:

Required Materials - One has to follow solely a synthetic process to prepare the element. Raw material for producing such element is STUDENT. This raw material needs other ingredients like paper, pen, eraser, books and so. All these stuffs are then sent to special laboratories in step by step. Modular labs are generally Primary, Secondary, Higher Secondary Schools and Colleges. If more purity is necessary it may then be sent to another laboratory - the University.

Methods:

All ingredients are now to be vigorously agitated with special kind of robotic devices like Instructors, Mentors, Teachers, Lecturers, Readers and Professors at least for twelve to fifteen years. In regular interval the whole modular mixture is to pass thorough a filter paper called Question Paper. The method is universally accepted as Examination.

Isolation and Preservation:

After Filtration the products are packed in sensitive packets known as Mark-sheets following the standard quality control system. The elements are then carefully preserved in stores named Employment Exchange.

(Note: Quality of the products may vary from Lab to Lab and users sometimes take it into account.)

Cautionary Measures:
1. Raw materials (Students) must get throughly filtered otherwise it may form repeated residuals on filter papers.

2. Agitating devices must be of superb quality otherwise the process may yield non-marketable products.

Properties:
Physical:
a) It has a peculiar odor called Frustration.
b) The element is obnoxious and bitter to taste.
c) Normally it is insoluble in any solvent but sometimes may be a little bit soluble in Alcohol.
d) It has two isotopes - Male and Female.

Chemical:
a) It yields Insults and Frustrations when reacts with a compound known as Interview. The Reaction looks like this -

Eu + Interview = Frustration + Insults (By Product).

b) This reaction may yield another essential compound known as Job or Service if a well known catalyst named Bribe is added drop by drop. So, the reaction may be written as -

Eu + Interview + Bribe = Service (End Product)

Usage:

A special section of socio-crooked termed as Politicians are the main consumers of this element. They generally use this element to escalate corruptions, hooliganism and other self explanatory sort of evil activities.

(Origin - Tasmania Nasrin : Edited and translated by PK Ray, Straight Ways)